It is like a twisted branch of a fig tree that snarls like a disastrous monster in the darkness, suddenly I am afraid. I quiver in my knees, this is dangerous! Suddenly I want to lash out in retaliation but my legs are not moving, suddenly I cannot walk, I am terrified I am mad with rage. My heart is beating hard against my chest, I can’t hear what I am thinking, my throat is tight painful like I swallowed hot coal, my knees, oh my knees, they are so weak!!
Suddenly I am smaller than I have ever been; my face breaks out in sweat, what will come out of the darkness, shadows seem to be moving, reaching out to tear me to pieces, I am quivering with fear. Distorted hands, howling eerie sounds in the night taking my peace away, where shall I run to? Where shall I GO?
Oh I am falling, falling, falling, will my misery ever end? Will I ever reach the bottom? Where am I falling to? My guts seem to be scavenging on themselves; I have an eerie feeling like my whole body is going to burst into flames. Wait! Am I on fire? I want peel the skin off my face, I feel the scales there, maybe if I close my eyes for a minute they will disappear.
My face is a paradox of nothingness, it is hollow and sticky and pale. My head is twisted and deformed, when was I last normal? I can’t recall, it must have been months or maybe years. I think as I dig around with my fingers for roots, with crooked dirty nails. My head jerks up and I look at the sky which has seemed to turn bright red for no reason, is it supposed to do that? Around me everything seems to be melting forming horrific faces and dismantled and deformed figures. Oh no! They are looking directly at me. I must hide, where will I go? My heavy heart beats loudly once more, “shh!” I say, “They will hear us; you see they are coming at us with flaming torches and axes.” Who are they? What do they want from us? If it my soul they want it collapsed a while ago, how long was it?
My legs are stiff I can’t walk yet I feel like jumping up and down. Will I ever run again? Panic rises within me as I breathe heavily to calm myself down, I will crawl but even my arms do not respond I feel like wailing out in the emptiness. I scream out until my head is on fire, I cry out shrilly into the night, or is it day? There is a loud thumping in my chest, something must be living in there, banging loudly and causing all the noise, at least it is not my heart. The sound is also in my head, it’s loud and clamoring, it doesn’t stop it goes on forever like a chisel on stone, I whimper and cower, curling into a ball. Maybe if I hug myself tight it will go away forever