Good Righteous Woman

Good woman scream, cower in the dark,  don’t fight, only bad women fight. Watch your children beaten and tortured, their self respect taken away, watch helplessly  as your dreams turn into nightmares. Don’t fight just howl at the moon in anguish.

Lie down, be quiet. That is what is expected, a woman carries her burdens proudly in her shoulders they say. Let him shame you and spit on your pride, humble yourself, he is your man therefore  your king. He owns you,  let him do as he pleases.

Good woman believe feminisim is a joke, a cheap mechanism devised by disrespectful idiots and rebels.  A woman’s life is painful,  endure it. Walk on hot coals if you have to, keep him happy always. 

Believe abuse is a fallacy,  it doesn’t exist. Tell yourself it was  all your fault. Turn a blind eye to your suffering, don’t fight back don’t do anything, just cry.

TEENAGERS TODAY: More confused than us back in the day

 

Memories of my teenage years are filled with skipping rope, playing mokou and throwing stones at   the seniors with dresses tucked in our panties to make running much easier. A boyfriend was that random guy who would show up announced whilst you are busy with your playmates and twists your arm for no apparent reason. If you managed to see him from a distance and did your best to outrun him, you were safe, and then you’ll shake your booty like a spring chicken and call him all sorts of names, yeah that was the reality of those of us who grew up in the nineties, free to run wild.

Born in the era of technology which grows more complicated by each passing day, well at least to the poor souls who were born before World War 2, teenagers today are more confused and apt to make a lot more mistakes than us back in the day.  I am not saying technology is bad, what I am saying is that teenagers today  have access to too much information, which is quite a tragedy  considering their squishy heads that cant keep still and  their perception of the world  which is in small print , it does more harm than good.

Teenagers today absorb way more information than they need which complicates their lives and further depresses them. Most get confused literally when they have to make a decision; it’s not surprising to see them changing fashion trends and religious beliefs faster than an average person changes underwear in a lifetime because whatever mumbo-jumbo is trending on social media is backed up by solid information as to why it is valid and helpful. While others are more confusing than Nicki Minaj’s outfits, another bunch consists of those who blankly stare at the TV the whole day, trying to talk to them gets you an expression that registers calm boredom mingled with patient annoyance; they don’t care about the riff raff that others might be interested into because they are so mature it makes them almost creepy.

With us back in the day, someone older than you was a source of wisdom, if your brother or sister said something it had to be one hundred percent accurate, you would always be supporting arguments with “my brother said it is like that.” Trying to advice these beautiful souls is like asking for a trial in court, they are so defensive one would swear they were trying to win a war or have been wrongly accused of some heinous crime. Thanks to Google they are gods of information which is on their fingertips.

Between us and these television zombies I sometimes wonder as to who got the wrong end of the stick, us climbing rocks, trees catching grasshoppers to make them our ‘cattle’ or them with their Ipads and smart phones?

Daughter  of Africa

Daughter  of Africa where is your pride? Your body shamed, beaten and tortured, pain and anguish stain your beautiful face with bitter tears.

Where will you run to when walls are closing  in and crushing  your  soul? Who will wipe away the stinging tears? 

The world a cold lonely merciless abyss, your bare  feet walking on the charring ground with the hot sun beating down on you.  

Your cry goes unheard as you holler  out into the wilderness.

Daughter  of Africa where is your pride? Pain your only companion, comfort  found only in your anguish.

Some say you’ll perish  some say you’ll break but your  strength pushes you on and on. The light within you will  always shine. 

Numb

Boulders  of ash stand where once pilars of love stood. 

I feel nothing,  not the wind on my face or the love from the fingers that try to caress me. 

My soul is wrung  out empty and cold, all seem to have disappeared  into nothing. 

Truth is never easily swallowed, it scratches the hearts of the guilty and wicket,  vibrates  the knees of cowards. It turns their minds inside out and their  hearts  into frenzied  heart palpitations. 

A beautiful dream


I had a lovely dream filled with flower covered dunes and a beautiful  angel who waited on me hand and foot, he was garmented from head to toe in white and his eyes were bright as the sun.

Now morning comes and I’m shrouded in misery,as if my happiness was dipped in black ink and left to dry out in the sun, I’m forever locked away from my dream and never to return.

fear

It is like a twisted branch of a fig tree that snarls like a disastrous monster in the darkness, suddenly I am afraid. I quiver in my knees, this is dangerous! Suddenly I want to lash out in retaliation but my legs are not moving, suddenly I cannot walk, I am terrified I am mad with rage. My heart is beating hard against my chest, I can’t hear what I am thinking, my throat is tight painful like I swallowed hot coal, my knees, oh my knees, they are so weak!!

Suddenly I am smaller than I have ever been; my face breaks out in sweat, what will come out of the darkness, shadows seem to be moving, reaching out to tear me to pieces, I am quivering with fear. Distorted hands, howling eerie sounds in the night taking my peace away, where shall I run to? Where shall I GO?

Oh I am falling, falling, falling, will my misery ever end? Will I ever reach the bottom? Where am I falling to? My guts seem to be scavenging on themselves; I have an eerie feeling like my whole body is going to burst into flames. Wait! Am I on fire? I want peel the skin off my face, I feel the scales there, maybe if I close my eyes for a minute they will disappear.

My face is a paradox of nothingness, it is hollow and sticky and pale. My head is twisted and deformed, when was I last normal? I can’t recall, it must have been months or maybe years. I think as I dig around with my fingers for roots, with crooked dirty nails. My head jerks up and I look at the sky which has seemed to turn bright red for no reason, is it supposed to do that? Around me everything seems to be melting forming horrific faces and dismantled and deformed figures. Oh no! They are looking directly at me. I must hide, where will I go? My heavy heart beats loudly once more, “shh!” I say, “They will hear us; you see they are coming at us with flaming torches and axes.” Who are they? What do they want from us? If it my soul they want it collapsed a while ago, how long was it?

My legs are stiff I can’t walk yet I feel like jumping up and down. Will I ever run again? Panic rises within me as I breathe heavily to calm myself down, I will crawl but even my arms do not respond I feel like wailing out in the emptiness. I scream out until my head is on fire, I cry out shrilly into the night, or is it day? There is a loud thumping in my chest, something must be living in there, banging loudly and causing all the noise, at least it is not my heart. The sound is also in my head, it’s loud and clamoring, it doesn’t stop it goes on forever like a chisel on stone, I whimper and cower, curling into a ball. Maybe if I hug myself tight it will go away forever

 

 

Dear African Man

You reduce me to a pair of breasts and a butt.
You want me to be happy when you say ‘nice woman, she has hips wide enough to bear me a lot of children.’
Is that all I am? A baby factory?
Your bleak outlook of my life renders me helpless and angry.

Dear African man, Who are you to tell me who I am supposed to be?
Who are you to tell me what I can and cannot wear?

My beautiful long legs are your entertainment
My round breasts a feast for your eyes
My broken heart, a crown for your head
And my shame is your pride.
‘ she knows nothing,’ you say.
‘She is just a woman.’

You whistle as I walk past you.
You scream obscenities when I don’t look at you.
My body not my own, but yours to probe and leer at.

I am a beautiful flower, yet you pluck me, leave me in the sun to dry out
You watch me fade into nothing
My pride diminished,
My self respect gone.

I am a nice collectable, a true diamond you say, that is untill I lose my value
Then it’s time to go out and find a replacement.

But you don’t know, you don’t know.
Beneath these vulnerable and soft eyes is a strong heart, my heart.
It beats stronger and stronger every day.
It fills me with energy, energy that will rejuvenate my entire being.
I am an African princess
I am a beautiful flower that can never be blown away
I am unique
I am  stronger than an elephant
I shall prosper.

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WHY DO WE LOVE?

In these days when love has become a medium of exchange it is no longer clear what real love is all about.

Emotions are faked  and manipulation has become the essence of many relationships. The world has pivoted over on its head, there’s a lot of confusion so much that it has become almost difficult to separe a lie from the truth. The two have been infused into one another and have become indivisible.

Paranoia is the only trustworthy element of our confused and lost world, it is the only assurance of safety.

So why do we love in the first place? Do we love because we see love as an insurance that we will be loved  and cared for in return?

Do we love because we want to look good in other people’s eyes, to be seen as good Christians? Or  do we just treat Love as a more stylish way of life?

We all have to ask ourselves, what is love to us? Is it a requirement? A business transaction? A stratergy?

Why do we love???

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To The One Who Possesses My Heart

It is the way you look at me that makes me feel loved and cared for, it is the way you touch me that makes me feel like a woman. It is the tenderness in your eyes that makes my heart leap with joy.

It is your appearance that makes me feel your presence,long muscular arms , soft  brown skin, beautiful hands, long delicate fingers and your lips….oh your lips,  their sensuality unmatched, brushing, teasing, they  set my heart  on fire. Oh wait! Is there music? No there isn’t, you and I are just kissing and the melodies are the sound of my heart singing.

It is the way  you look at me, yes the way you look at me with pure adoration  in your eyes that makes me say: “Yes! Yes I know he loves me. He loves me even more than I love him!!”

Your towering height makes me feel safe and loved, and in your arms I feel like a queen. Every moment ever so precious, nothing planned, everything so spontaneous and beautiful… Yes you and I are beautiful. We live in each other’s eyes and when we see each other, the me that’s in you dances and the you that’s in me jumps up and down with joy.

Like birds we live in the moment, like flowers we dance in the wind. Ever so free, we find freedom in our happiness. When we are together we are free because we are happy. Like shadows we melt into each other and disappear when the sun sets, we will meet again and once more melt into each other…..not a moment too late and not a moment too soon, just at the right time.
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